'Do you ever miss me?' –
Was the msg my ex sent me tonight. He has a new gf now..has done for majority of the yr so I've heard, but obviously he still thinks about me. It was one thing I always admired about him, his honesty and how up front he was about everything. When a guy usually doesn’t like speaking about feelings and raw truths, he always didn’t mind, well I don’t think it was about not minding as he was still awkward about it sometimes but more so that he saw the importance of the truth. So even tonight many months after we broke up he can still ask me this simple question which reveals so much truth. Yes I do miss you sometimes, to be honest not all the time, life has carried on and my life has been filled with many other things to occupy my mind, but yes on the occasion something reminds me of you and I do miss you..parts of you. I thought about you a bit over the winter, after I'd had time to see the perspective of it all. Thoughts of guilt. I felt bad that I didn't get more upset about our break up; I know how much it hurt you. I feel bad that I didn’t cry more or that I didn’t think about you more and even the way we broke up..I wasn't as honest as I would have hoped. But that’s the way it was and I suppose theres no use for regret. I do miss how you used to make me laugh and how we could talk about anything and everything for hours. Some of the most honest, interesting, crazy conversations were had with you; I told you things about me that not even I fully understood so were always a bit confusing and complicated. You know things about me that almost no one knows..not the full brunt of the truth, not the first hand truth like you witnessed. It's weird how despite all this our differences were too much for me to bear and tore us apart. I'm sorry.
I haven’t seen him since the day we broke up, it's been a while really. And yeh I don’t often think about him so it was strange to get that msg; I first thought it may have been meant for someone else. But yes when I think about it, I do miss you. You were so kind and patient with me. I think you loved me more than I ever realised.
